


bingo bango bongos

by fallintolife



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, context is for the weak i came here for memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29173713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallintolife/pseuds/fallintolife
Summary: I sawthis tweetand I said to myself, "now, what upper-class lady would call her breasts that?" and the answer was Pansy Parkinson.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	bingo bango bongos

Neville Longbottom does not consider himself particularly brave.

Oh, yes, he is in Gryffindor. And yes, he fought in a war. But the Hat decided his House, and the Death Eaters decided his allegiance. It's not brave to do things you're left with no choice but to do, he's always felt.

Approaching Pansy Parkinson when she's clearly in a foul mood, well. That might just qualify as brave.

"P-Parkinson?"

Parkinson turns to him, eyes already narrowing. She tilts her head, demanding to know why he's daring to speak to her.

"In... in the interest of..." He clears his throat, fighting not to wipe his sweaty palms on his robes. "In the interest of inter-house cooperation, I wanted to... to reach out and--"

Something flashes in her eyes, and he suddenly has Parkinson's full attention.

"Alright, Longbottom, I'll let you give me your speech. Before all that, you have to answer one question. Draco won't tell me and it's driving me spare."

One question shouldn't be too hard.

"Okay?"

She looms over him, somehow, despite only being a scant bit taller. Her eyes bore into his, and her fingers twitch at her side.

"What are 'mommy milkers'?"

Neville's brain is going to boil in his skull from the force of his blush.

He shouldn't even know what those are, but well. He isn't _deaf_ , and the boys in the Common Room had been talking about the whole concept very loudly. That doesn't mean he can tell her, but he does know. His traitorous eyes drop down to her bust, drawn as if by magnets.

Pansy tilts her head one way, then the other. She looks down, following his gaze, and recognition flickers over her face.

"Oh, like my fat fucking jugs?"

Neville promptly faints.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternately:  
> Pansy, over the intercom: First person to tell me what 'mommy milkers' are gets five bucks  
> Hermione, casual: They're talking about your tits  
> Pansy: ...  
> Hermione, turning a page in her book: I'll take those five pounds now, please.


End file.
